Showing results by author "J. H. Schiller" in All Categories

The witch of Tophet County has three primary preoccupations: Kentucky bourbon, Amish romance novels . . . and protecting her true identity from the chthonic monsters who rule humanity with an iron tentacle. Despite her best efforts to get fired, the witch is trapped in a draconian, century-long contract that condemns her to work for the Archons of the Nether Realms in the banal misery of county government. But when she accidentally pleases her many-armed overlords, the Dread Lord of Human Resources curses her with an unwanted promotion. And it involves meetings.

Tophet County's Midnight Carnival has it all: a mesmerizing (literally) Phæras Wheel, the racy delights of Sphinxter's All-Archonic Peep Show, and the lip-smacking lure of "things which never should have been fried." It's the perfect prelude to the witch's romantic night with her boyfriend, Chad . . . until a creepy fortune teller makes dire predictions with an enchanted deck of Garbage Pail Kids cards, an otherworldly pyromaniac sets the moon on fire, and a shipload of pasta-faced beasties from Lovecraft's backlist lands on the Dunwich Park softball field.