I was watching my daughter’s program called Don’t Judge Me I Am A Single Parent one evening as she interviewed a practicing social worker. The knowledgeable woman made a statement that startled me. The discussion was about those who had experienced abuse - she said “If you are a victim you never get over it”. I remember thinking - if that being the case how will that experience influence a person’s future i.e. marriage. Coincidentally just a few days after; I spoke to a friend who discussed some issues she was facing in her marriage.

The combination of those two conversations caused an introspection into marriages. As I pondered it occurred to me that most people in marriages have allowed their past to play itself out negatively in their union.

Although I was not 100 percent in agreement with the statement made by the social worker (I know people who have gotten over past abuse) I realised why she said it. There are certain issues we experience in life that has such an impact that unless we overcome these they can/will affect our future relationships.

A few weeks went by but the statement kept nagging at me. Then one morning as I was finishing a nice gentle 10k run I thought about many other issues we don’t investigate before we get married that play out in negative patterns in many marriages. I looked and realized that if we are going, to be honest only a small percentage of married couples can claim to be having the best times of their lives.

The majority are experiencing the apathy that has resulted from regret on one spectrum to hopelessness on the other.

Others have sayings to make sense of their mediocre relationship - “Marriage is not always a honeymoon”, “Marriage is tough”, “Marriage is not a bed of roses”...

I would like to hedge my bet on the side of God whom I believe wants all marriages to be “very good” considering these are the two words he used to define his creation after the man arrived.

I am also convinced that if Real Issues that are capable of derailing our unions are discussed openly from the beginning; solutions will be generated, couples will be better prepared and enabled - to navigate through tough terrains when they show up. Music bands who go on tour many times dislike some of the difficulties of being cocooned in a small van, eating takeaway food for days, enduring body odours of other band members, etc So why do they consistently put up with it?

Firstly, the smart ones are prepared for it and have learned to make a laugh out of it and enjoy the trips. Secondly, the flow of adrenaline and satisfaction of playing to their fans and seeing the joy on their faces makes it all worthwhile - as a matter of fact enjoyable. Marriage is indeed is on the high agenda of the institutions God loves and our marriages should parallel our relationships with him.

That is the reason we must do the best we can to enjoy not merely exist, be enriched not diminished, be excited not disheartened in our marriages. That being the case - there is work to do.

In this audiobook, I have outlined the nine questions of real issues most marriages will face. I have come tothat many of these issues are . Due to their sensitive nature, it is easier to try and ignore them. But since marriage is not for the faint-hearted these topics must be exposed, dealt with, and surmounted. Therefore, I have endeavored to give some clear practical advice to those about to be married and those who are already in a marriage.

Admittedly there will be some opposition to my thoughts and opinions expressed in the audiobook. I expect and welcome them.

However, whatever you agree with put it into action. I employ you not just to listen to this audiobook but to use it as a practical guide to enhance your current or future marriage. It is time to sing a new song for all marriages.