A good read but stop the stigmatising.

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Overall, an excellent read, especially the first 3/4. A small but critical point but I get very tired of authors writing gay fiction referring to "clean" sexually transmitted infection/ disease results (as in this book). The opposite of "clean" is "dirty" and many have spent decades tackling discrimination when it comes to HIV and AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections. You are writers for goodness sake ... do your research ... find new combinations of words ... but do not use the word "clean" in this context. It is deeply stigmatising.

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4 solid stars!

After being assaulted when he was a teenager, Matt retreats into himself and uses habits and cleaning to get through. When a jogger starts running past his house every day, Matt calls his brother, the police chief, to talk to the jogger. But Clay is worried about Matt and says he will, if Matt asks the jogger his name. When Matt manages to do just that, he is surprised how easy he finds it to talk to Charlie. Then one day, Charlie doesn’t come, and Matt goes into a tail spin. Can he leave his house, to see what happened to Charlie?
Ordinarily, I would write a bit about the book, then about the audio but I might not be able to do that here. Since this book is written in the first person and ONLY from Matt’s point of view, the book and the narration kinda merge into one, and so I’m sorry if this review goes a little off tangent.
Right from the very beginning, we are made aware of what happened to Matt, and what happened after. We get his slow spiral into a smaller and smaller world, and what that does to Matt, and how he deals with things. He is a recluse and does not like people in his space. The jogger throws Matt off, even though said jogger is only going past his house, and not coming NEAR it, Matt struggles. Talking to Charlie, though, was surprisingly easy for Matt, once he got over that initial. . . hiccup. Getting used to Charlie helps Matt in ways he didn’t know Charlie could help him, in ways he didn’t know ANYONE could help him. Charlie not coming one day, well, that messes Matt right back up, and Matt is pushed way beyond his self-imposed limits.
Matt voice is clear throughout most of the book, but this is where my review bits merge. At points along the way, especially when Matt is *thinking* the narrator dips his voice, low, so very low. I usually have no problem with low voices and speech tones, but the narrator also lowers the volume of his voice, and I’m sure I missed some important musings from Matt because of this.
Patrick Zeller is a new to me narrator, not having listened to his work before. For the most part, it was very good, with Zeller getting all of Matt across at some difficult points, emotionally devastating points to be fair, and you do get all that. It’s just the DIPPING I struggled with. Therefore I gave the narration 4 stars.
His voices for all the characters are very different and clearly defined, and I had no trouble differentiating between who was speaking in multi person conversations.
I won’t write him off, not just yet though. I went and had a look at his other work, and while nothing jumps out at me there, should another book narrated by him become available, I would give him another go.
Parker Williams is also a new to me author, although I have listened to a couple of his collaborations before. Runner is the first book of Mr Williams I’ve read/listened to and I hope it’s not the last! I like the way he tells this tale.
It’s not overly explicit, but then again, Matt is suffering from a sexual assault. It is extremely well written, though, the blossoming relationship between Matt and Charlie, and there is a good deal of evidence of research by Williams in Matt’s . . . .what’s the best way to put it. . . .coming out of himself, and beginning to live again, I think best fits. Recovery isn’t quite the right word, but very nearly.
My only reason for giving the book 4 stars, was only MATT has a say. Because of COURSE I needed to hear from Charlie! Ya’ll know I need to hear from everyone, but especially here. I wanted to know what Charlie was thinking when he actually meets Matt, rather than just waving at him in the window, even if that first meeting is a little bit of a hiccup. What he was thinking when Matt finds him when he doesn’t come by the house, and when Matt discovers what Charlie and Clay did. I needed Charlie and I don’t get him, even if it would have been in the first person.
So, 4 solid stars for the book, and for the narration too.
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**

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5* across the board

I loved this book when I first read an excerpt Parker Williams posted on social media. I then waited many months for the full story to be released. I was overjoyed when not too long afterwards Parker announced an audio version was to be released.
It did not dissapoint. Patrick Zeller is a new performer to me and I think he did an amazing job portraying the characters and the angst and uncertainty Matt lives with on a daily basis.
I know I will be listening to this again and again.

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😭

O my, I have never cried so much whilst listening to a book before.
I loved it though. ❤️

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