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How to Not Die Alone

The Surprising Science of Finding Love

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How to Not Die Alone

By: Logan Ury
Narrated by: Logan Ury
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About this listen

'A definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love' Esther Perel

'A "must read" for hopeless and hopeful romantics alike' Daniel Gilbert

A funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

Have you ever looked around and wondered, "Why has everyone found love except me?" You're not the only one. Great relationships don't just appear in our lives - they're the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.

Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn't lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how.

This book focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You'll learn:

- What's holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern)
- What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn't)
- How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you)
- How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love)
- How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews)
- Why "the spark" is a myth (but you'll find love anyway)

This data-driven, step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Logan Ury (P)2021 Hachette Audio UK Human Sexuality Love, Dating & Attraction Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Funny Dream Inspiring Thought-Provoking
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Critic reviews

Why have you not found love? Logan Ury's HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE speaks to truths that your friends won't tell you. With a unique voice that offers clarity, action, and results, Ury's book promises to be a definitive guide for a generation navigating the murky waters of modern love (Esther Perel, bestselling author of MATING IN CAPTIVITY and THE STATE OF AFFAIRS and host of the podcast 'Where Should We Begin?')
Insightful and delightful, HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE is a 'must read' for hopeless and hopeful romantics alike - and for anyone who still believes that true love is possible (Daniel Gilbert, Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology at Harvard University and New York Times bestselling author of STUMBLING ON HAPPINESS)
In HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE, dating coach Logan Ury compiles the research on what trips people up when looking for love and lays it all out in a simple-to-use guide. If you need a perspective shift, this is a book you'll want to keep on hand as you navigate the modern dating terrain (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE)
HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE is a must-read for millennials navigating any stage of their relationship. The advice is clear, researched-based, and actually easy to follow. It's the perfect book for anyone who wants to up their dating game (Jordana Abraham, co-founder of Betches Media and Host of the 'U Up?' podcast)
This is an eye-opening book. Based on the best that social science has to offer, and written in an easy-to-understand style, full of useful exercises and checklists, Logan Ury has provided a guide that will help you avoid many of the traps people face in finding and keeping romantic relationships in today's world. And as a bonus, reading this book will surely help you make other big decisions in life that have nothing to do with romance (Barry Schwartz, Visiting Professor at the Haas School of Business, U.C. Berkeley, and author of THE PARADOX OF CHOICE)
This book wisely reminds us that finding and holding on to love is not a mysterious divinely apportioned gift, it's a skill that can be taught and learnt by us all. Past failure does not have to be any indicator of future success-with this compelling book in hand (Alain de Botton, author of THE COURSE OF LOVE)
Logan Ury's practical, no-nonsense approach to dating is a masterclass in behavioral science. It's also warm, funny, and full of heart. HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE is an essential guide to debunking the myths of modern romance and finding a relationship that's truly worth investing in (Mandy Len Catron, author of HOW TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ANYONE: A MEMOIR IN ESSAYS)
Ury has given all of us a host of excellent suggestions (and scientific information) on how to find, make, build and sustain a romantic, sexy and successful partnership (Helen Fisher, author of THE ANATOMY OF LOVE and Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute)

What listeners say about How to Not Die Alone

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Profile Image for Connor Graham

Required reading on dating and relationships

I downloaded this book following the recommendation from Ali Abdaal. It was truly a transformative listening experience.

I had been dating on and off for the past 2 or so years, not really finding anyone that I felt were a good fit for me. I then had a break from dating to focus on myself and recompose but I was tired of being single and wanted to make a change - and also do it right. Ury's advice to reflect on my own reasons for waiting or holding off on dating made me realise that what I was doing was counterproductive, I needed to allow myself to be happy and find someone who makes me so.

The advice on dating techniques was very useful with some good ideas, and the advice on surveying potential partners for a long-term relationship was a big wake-up call on how I had been going about before.

I would recommend this book to anyone looking to get better at dating and find someone to make you smile.

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Profile Image for Domhnall A.

Dating must-read

Whether you’re in a long term relationship or single, this book will help you in some way!

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Profile Image for Tomas Solomon

Perfect guide to dating

Whether you are just about to start dating, are in the middle of dating, feel like you're stuck or just broke up, this is a fantastic guide. It has helped me develop myself into a better person and partner and made me wiser. 10/10. Oh, and I finished it in 3 days, that's how enjoyable it was.

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Profile Image for Anonymous User

Great tips, up to a point, but not a must read

I liked the book, it is fun and provides many interesting tips about dating / partner picking. I do not regret getting it, and it was a nice experience, but there is nothing new - you probably heard all the tips before. However it is still a very good experience.

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Profile Image for Mads

A must read for all those wishing to find long term love

Well written, charming and beautifully narrated! This book is a fantastic read for all those looking for long term love

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great for everyone

it's how to date, how to breakup, how to get married and how to stay together.

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Profile Image for Miss B Gronowska

How to communicate in the relationship,

Really enjoyed listening to this book. A lot good point of keys into relationship.. I would highly recommend reading this.

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Profile Image for Mohammed RABHI

Everyone should read this book!

Everyone should read this book, looking for long term relationships or not!
Several things I never thought are important to discuss!
Science & Psychology


Seriously folks! Everyone should read this book!!
Whether you are looking for a serious relationship or not..
Logan starts by highlighting the dating tendencies and the dating types (Romanticiser, Maximiser or Hesitater) then she dissects each type tendencies, this insight alone would tell you a lot how you see dating and relationships and why you behave the way you do! (You can take a test)
- What is your love language? Attachment style ? How does this plays a role in your dating life?
- What to look for in a partner ? Are you looking for a prom date or a long term partner? Some personality treats and qualities I never thought I should assess..
- What are you deal breakers ? Are they critical or just preferences ?
- Are you a ditcher ( You leave the relationship too soon) or a hitcher (You hold on onto the relationship more than it deserves - " the sunk cost fallacy") ?
- The break-up guide
- The Ritual Guide
- The Relationship Contract
- How to decide to get married ( critical questions to ask) past, present and future!

This is some serious stuff to consider ! After all, the quality of your relationship determines the quality of your life!

Pay Attention, Ask Questions, Listen, be Interested not Interesting..

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Profile Image for Shantal Jovia

phenomenal

this is an outstanding book, i have learnt so much about myself and how to search for the relationships that i desire.
not only about looking for partner but being the person to receive such a relationship
my favorite quote from the book is "great relationships are created not discovered"

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Profile Image for Jess

Amazing book

This is an amazing book, I’ve learned so much about myself and dating pitfalls I’ve so long put myself in. I’m definitely more confident about dating in general. I’m so glad I came across this book. So very much recommend it.

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