Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

Preview

£0.00 for first 30 days

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Holy Cow

By: David Duchovny
Narrated by: David Duchovny
Try for £0.00

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £7.99

Buy Now for £7.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Summary

A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist from the star of The X-Files and Californication, featuring Elsie, an unforgettable four-legged heroine.

Holy Cow by David Duchovny is a comic delight that will thrill fans of Jasper Fforde and Ben Aaronovitch. And anyone who enjoys a witty wisecrack in a novel.

Elsie Bovary is a cow and a pretty happy one at that. Until one night,Elsie sneaks out of the pasture and finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God--and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.

The only solution? To escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Shalom, a grumpy pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave turkey who can't fly,but can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport...

Elsie is a wisecracking, slyly witty narrator; Tom dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians.

David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance the world desperately needs.

©2015 David Duchovny (P)2015 Macmillan Audio
activate_Holiday_promo_in_buybox_DT_T2

Listeners also enjoyed...

Miss Subways cover art
Bucky F*cking Dent cover art
Truly Like Lightning cover art
The Schwa Was Here cover art
It's Just a Dog cover art
Silent Child cover art
The Original Adventures of Hank the Cowdog cover art
The Power of One cover art
Neanderthal Seeks Human BoxSet: A Workplace Romance, 2020 Revised and Expanded Edition cover art
Vanished cover art
Gulliver's Travels: A Signature Performance by David Hyde Pierce cover art
Agent to the Stars cover art
Meat cover art
The Bassoon King cover art
AniMalcolm cover art
Afterglow cover art

Critic reviews

"David Duchovny is a very smart and wryly entertaining actor, and now, novelist. Although I will never publicly admit to jealousy, I am having him killed." (Rob Lowe)

What listeners say about Holy Cow

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    64
  • 4 Stars
    21
  • 3 Stars
    10
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    2
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    74
  • 4 Stars
    12
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    2
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    56
  • 4 Stars
    16
  • 3 Stars
    13
  • 2 Stars
    7
  • 1 Stars
    2

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Duchonvy's dulcet tones

Original and funny. Particularly well narrated. Really enjoyed it! Have recommended it to husband and friends.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Cow-A-Bunga

Excellent, it's like the wonder years for barnyard animals. I can see this being animated in the vain of Archer.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny, witty and brilliant story

I loved this book. Not only because David narrated it himself but because it was witty and fun and very imaginative. Brilliant for kids and adults and morals! X

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Loved it!

A sensitive subject, approached with feeling and humour. Couldn't help but laugh out load at times.
Duchovny is a great story teller and a wonderful narrator.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Really funny but also with substance

Really liked the way it was written and read. Starts off very light and funny, then turns a bit darker or let's say more serious. Keeps good jokes and references throughout and comes to a round ending. There were one or 2 things I found a bit strange in the course of the story but just go with it, it's fun!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Brilliant & Funny

I absolutely loved this book. Brilliant and funny throughout. It's a must for everyone - adults and children will enjoy it equally.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious

Oh my goodness this was a surprise. It was absolutely hilarious and even though it does actually hold a serious message or two the humour helps enormously. At times it appears preachy but there is no way of doing this without a little political comment or moralising. It’s kind of the point and it makes you think. The end was very clever and the writing surprisingly excellent. It maybe short but honestly it is worth the credit. But listen at home unless you are comfortable belly laughing in public because you really will laugh out loud with this!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very clever, really funny and thought provoking

Loved it, very well written. its been quite a while since a book has made me laugh out loud. Brilliant.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Everyone should listen to this

Awesome writing from David, and well told by the man himself. Love the adventure and the messages spoken within. Perfect length for a train journey. will definitely listen to again. highly recommend !

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

My favourite book by David Duchovny

I absolutely loved this book, I didn't want the story to end! If you are looking for a next audiobook, look no further!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!