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Preview
  • Bears Want to Kill You

  • The Authoritative Guide to Survival in the War Between Man and Bear
  • By: Ethan Nicolle
  • Narrated by: Ethan Nicolle
  • Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.0 out of 5 stars (2 ratings)

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Bears Want to Kill You

By: Ethan Nicolle
Narrated by: Ethan Nicolle
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Summary

Did you know bears never die? There are many unknown facts about these fur-adorned mammals. Because the hard truths about bears can be difficult to process, society often shields itself from the realities of the true threat bears pose to mankind. Much as it took centuries for mankind to realize Earth was not at the center of the universe, it will take a long time for humans to realize that they are not at the top of the food chain.

In Bears Want to Kill You, author Ethan Nicolle exposes the lies about:

  • Bear safety
  • Bear spray
  • Bear traps
  • Bear necessities

...and gives you the truth about:

  • Bear fighting
  • Bear species
  • Bear Jiu Jitsu
  • Bear avoidance
  • And more!

Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks, and the impending war between man and bear.

This is the first honest book about bears ever written. No lies, no propaganda. It’s the hard reality nobody wants to face. Can you bear the truth?

Ethan Nicolle is the co-creator of comic and TV series Axe Cop, webcomic Bearmageddon, writer for the Babylon Bee and writer for animated TV shows such as Teen Titans Go! and VeggieTales in the House. He resides in a giant bear locker in Rancho Cucamonga, CA.

©2019 Ethan Nicolle (P)2019 Ethan Nicolle
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Critic reviews

"Bears Want to Kill You wields a prescience that is both hilarious and terrifying, as Ethan Nicolle masterfully spells out the ursine demise that is coming to us all." (Nick Offerman, Parks & Recreation, Axe Cop)

What listeners say about Bears Want to Kill You

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Completely mad.

Crazy, deranged, hilarious!
Ok, maybe you need a particular thought of "I've had enough serious things for now", combined with a very weird sense of humour, but I love this!

It's just too mad to miss!

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